It Was A Matter Of Time…

It all started with a blade in my hand at 21

I was alone in a bathroom with nowhere to run

I sat down on that toilet stool on the fall of 2013

Took a look at my worthless life and I jabbed that steel in me.

That pain I felt when I did the deed made everything easier in me.

The scars, the cuts, the marks, the scars, they all became the vice I would need.

Since then, i’ve been using it as a way to relieve my pain.

On a one way ticket to hell and that devil knows my name.

At 22, I held that demon at bay.

Still, there were days that he would come to stay.

Started to throw those razors away

And I finally knew how to face the day.

Met me a girl that grew to love my scars.

Who would have thought that she would break my heart?

After she left, my fucking world fell apart

And I would carve the words “I loved you” on my left arm.

At 23, my whole life would change

I didn’t know how to deal with my pain

The new cuts would put the old ones to shame

Cause February 14th would be my day to claim

Argued with a friend that I held dear

Saw through my lies and my false tears

I broke her heart.

My only friend.

I knew on Valentine’s Day my life would surely end.

Hung out with friends on that Saturday night.

Had me some drinks to get the feeling right, but I remembered that final fight, so I rushed to my room and went to grab that knife.

Went to my bed and stared at the wall

And I knew I had to end this once and for all

So I swiped away.

I cut my skin.

Saw the blood

Regret set in.

I took that breath that I held dear

And I looked back to my last year

I had my friends, I had my life, I lived it hard without thinking twice.

I had a mom that loved me more, and now her son lay dying on a bathroom floor.bt81EV4A3ifK15RiNSSeF6Nuw8nT9TqDveIfreSYY5E