It all started with a blade in my hand at 21
I was alone in a bathroom with nowhere to run
I sat down on that toilet stool on the fall of 2013
Took a look at my worthless life and I jabbed that steel in me.
That pain I felt when I did the deed made everything easier in me.
The scars, the cuts, the marks, the scars, they all became the vice I would need.
Since then, i’ve been using it as a way to relieve my pain.
On a one way ticket to hell and that devil knows my name.
At 22, I held that demon at bay.
Still, there were days that he would come to stay.
Started to throw those razors away
And I finally knew how to face the day.
Met me a girl that grew to love my scars.
Who would have thought that she would break my heart?
After she left, my fucking world fell apart
And I would carve the words “I loved you” on my left arm.
At 23, my whole life would change
I didn’t know how to deal with my pain
The new cuts would put the old ones to shame
Cause February 14th would be my day to claim
Argued with a friend that I held dear
Saw through my lies and my false tears
I broke her heart.
My only friend.
I knew on Valentine’s Day my life would surely end.
Hung out with friends on that Saturday night.
Had me some drinks to get the feeling right, but I remembered that final fight, so I rushed to my room and went to grab that knife.
Went to my bed and stared at the wall
And I knew I had to end this once and for all
So I swiped away.
I cut my skin.
Saw the blood
Regret set in.
I took that breath that I held dear
And I looked back to my last year
I had my friends, I had my life, I lived it hard without thinking twice.